Claudia's Symphony
by x0clairedelunex0
Summary: A collection of drabbles and AU one-shots, all set to song lyrics, and all surrounding the life of Claudia Zacchara.


**The Technicolor Phase**

**Artist: Owl City**

_I am the red in the rose, the flowers_

_On the blankets on your bedroom floor_

_And I am the gray in the ghost that hides_

_With your clothes behind your closet door_

It was that dreaded day again, the day the Claudia feared every single year. As if life didn't suck enough already, this made it worse. But she had to go. She owed it to Johnny. It would be such disrespect to his memory if she didn't.

Claudia finally forced herself out of her car, knowing that she'd have to face this tragedy eventually. She closed the door quietly, so as not to disturb any other mourners. Her hands were empty. She never brought flowers. The only flowers Johnny liked were roses, red ones, and Claudia couldn't stand to spend her money on them. She knew her brother had always loved roses, but so did Maria. Johnny understood when she didn't bring them. He knew how much she hated them. When they were younger, and Johnny would come in from gardening with his mother, smelling like earth and happiness, he would always offer his sister a rose that he had picked. Claudia, despite how much she loved him, would always refuse it, saying that she didn't want anything that Maria had planted. On the very day of his death, however, Johnny presented Claudia with the flower again, promising that it had been one that he had planted and taken care of, and that Maria hadn't helped at all. Claudia still had this rose, keeping the dried flower pressed between the pages of _Where the Wild Things Are_, Johnny's favorite book.

Trying to forget about roses, Claudia started walking towards Johnny's gravesite, a path that she could trek with her eyes closed. It had been exactly eleven years since Johnny's death today, and Claudia had visited his grave exactly eleven times. She could only bear to come once a year. More than that was too difficult. Seeing her little brother's name on that headstone just brought back all those memories from that awful day. She could only take so much of something like that.

As Claudia continued walking by the numerous headstones, adorned with flowers, American flags, and photographs, she finally came within sight of Johnny's grave. Unfortunately, it was already being visited.

Claudia felt her blood start to boil in anger. Maria and Daddy had no right to be here. What kind of child killers visit their victim's grave, whether it was their son or not? It was the most disrespectful thing they could do to Johnny's memory. He had died because of them. Claudia knew. She had watched.

And if they were going to come, why today? They never came on the anniversary, which is why Claudia had picked that day for her annual visit. Why couldn't they just come on Christmas, or Easter, or Johnny's birthday? Why did they have to ruin the one time a year that Claudia could talk to Johnny? When would they finally leave the two of them alone?

Claudia stomped angrily yet quietly over to Johnny's grave, not afraid to hold back her feelings. They had kept her silent long enough. But before she could reach the grave, she stopped again. Daddy and Maria were both dressed in black, so there was no mistaking the flash of red as Maria bent down and placed a single rose next to the headstone.

The thoughts of the roses began torturing Claudia again. Those roses had killed her brother. Maria just couldn't help but take Johnny out to garden with her, making Daddy more and more jealous that she was spending more time with her son than her husband. That day, after Johnny had given Claudia his rose, Daddy had gone into a furious rage, demanding that Maria love him like she used to. Claudia watched the whole thing from the top of the stairs, glad that Maria was finally getting her comeuppance, but also scared at how angry Daddy was. Then, she remembered watching Johnny come around the corner and into the entrance hall, pleading his father to stop. That was when Daddy had completely lost it. He pulled a revolver from the drawer of the side table, and shot Johnny right between the eyes.

Claudia felt a shiver run down her spine as the worst day of her life replayed itself in her head. But she couldn't dwell on the past. She had to deal with now. Maria and Daddy had no right to be here, and Maria certainly didn't have the right to put a rose on Johnny's grave.

God, couldn't Maria just leave Claudia alone? After Johnny's death, Claudia didn't leave her room except for school. Maria would try bringing her food, but Claudia wouldn't take anything she had to offer. After high school was over, Claudia moved out of that dreaded house, finding a nice apartment in Port Charles. Maria had found her somehow, and was always calling her and dropping by, trying to mend fences, even eleven years later. Claudia wished she had moved farther away, but she couldn't stand to be more than a mile away from Johnny's remains and memory. So, she'd take Maria's constant harassment, just so she could be close to her brother. But why did Maria have to bother her here, the one place where Claudia thought she could be left alone?

_I am the green in the grass that bends back_

_From underneath your feet_

_And I am the blue in your back alley view_

_Where the horizon and the rooftops meet_

Claudia finally shook off all her memories, hatreds, and wishes, and headed towards the gravesite, determined not to let anything stop her this time. When she reached the headstone, Maria and Daddy looked towards her, surprised to see their daughter and stepdaughter.

"I thought you'd come today, Claudia," said Maria, her voice so soothing that Claudia wanted to throw up. Daddy just looked at her. He hadn't spoken two words to anyone since that bullet had gone through Johnny's head, and Claudia was happy about it. Johnny lost his life; he at least deserved to lose his right to speak.

"Leave," Claudia demanded. "I want to mourn my brother in peace."

Maria didn't budge. "We can pray for him together, Claudia," she said. "Johnny wouldn't want us fighting like this. He always wanted us to all get along, remember?"

"Well, that was kind of a challenge, since you took my mom's place and Daddy hated me," spat Claudia. "Besides, I'm sure Johnny's singing a different tune now that you've killed him."

Not a tear dropped from Maria's eye, or Daddy's, who still remained impassive as the confrontation unfolded before him.

"I didn't kill him, Claudia," said Maria, her voice hard. "What happened was an accident."

"I saw what happened!" Claudia shouted, not caring anymore if she disturbed anyone else in the cemetery. "Daddy killed him because of you and your goddamn roses!" She turned her head towards the sky, where Johnny was sure to be dwelling. "Isn't that right, Johnny?"

_If you cut me, I suppose I would bleed the colors_

_Of the evening stars_

_You can go anywhere you wish 'cause I'll be there, wherever you are_

_Wherever you are_

"Claudia, you need to stop," said Maria calmly, glancing around the cemetery to make sure no one heard their conversation. "You've had this idea in your head for too long. Johnny died because things got too out of hand between your father and I. Anthony didn't mean to shoot him, right Anthony?" She turned towards her husband, who didn't make any movement. His eyes just continued staring at his son's grave while he lost himself in those dark memories.

"How could you even say something like that?" Claudia asked, tears forming in her eyes. "This is your son we're talking about. And you're passing off what happened as some kind of freak accident? I always thought you didn't have a heart, but now I know it's true."

_I will always be your keys_

_When we are lost in the technicolor phase_

Claudia knelt down next to the grave, placing her hand on the plaque that bore her brother's name, date of birth, and date of death. The dates were so hard to swallow. Eight years. Johnny had only been on this planet for eight years. He was a healthy boy, with so much potential. How could this have happened? How could Maria and Daddy have let this happen?

_I am the black in the book_

_The letters on the pages that you memorize_

_And I am the orange in the overcast_

_Of color that you visualize_

"We were about to say a prayer," said Maria, reaching into the pocket over her long coat and pulling out a small prayer book. Claudia ignored her. She just wanted to be alone with her brother, and she wasn't going to let Maria mess it up.

Maria ignored Claudia's silence and opened to a page in the small black book that she had marked with a red ribbon. She cleared her throat and began to read: "Eterno riposo, concedere a loro, o Signore, a lasciare che perpetua risplenda ad essi la luce. Maggio le anime dei fedeli defunti attraverso il ricordo di Dio, riposa in pace. Amen."

Claudia hated the sound of Italian on her stepmother's tongue. She wasn't worthy of such a beautiful language, the language that Claudia's mother, born and raised in Italy, had taught her daughter at an early age. Maria was a fake. Claudia remembered her mother, her real mother, saying that exact prayer at Claudia's grandfather's funeral. She had done a much better job at it than Maria.

Claudia stood up, facing away from Daddy and Maria. As she looked out over the vast cemetery, she could see the sun starting to set, and felt a single tear fall from her eye. Sunset had always been Johnny's favorite time of day. He had loved how each night, the colors in the sky would be different, how sometimes the clouds would be pink with purple surrounding them, sometimes the sky would be a deep red, like fire. Tonight, the sky was a blazing orange. Johnny would have loved it.

_I am the white in the walls that soak up_

_All the sound when you cannot sleep_

_And I am the peach in the starfish on the beach_

_That wish that harbor wasn't quite so deep_

"Claudia," said Maria, and Claudia turned around towards her stepmother, not afraid to cry in front of her like she had been so many years ago, "why don't you come home with us? We'll have dinner, and you can stay the night. We can be a family, for once."

Claudia couldn't believe what this woman was saying to her. "I used to have a family. It was me, and Daddy, and my mom, and we were happy. Then you came in and messed it all up. The only good thing you've ever done is have Johnny. But then you killed him."

"Please stop saying that, Claudia," said Maria. Claudia felt her throat start to become choked by her tears. She felt like she was drowning in them, like this sadness that was thrown upon her every year was killing her. Maria hadn't cried once this whole time. She didn't give a damn about Johnny or what she had done to him.

_If you cut me, I suppose I would bleed the colors_

_Of the evening stars, my darling_

_You can go anywhere you wish 'cause I'll be there_

_Wherever you are, my darling_

"I just want to sit with my brother in peace," said Claudia through her tears, her weak voice sending a strong brother. "You've ruined my entire life. Can't you let me have this time, please?"

Maria stared at Claudia for several minutes, then said, "Of course. Come on, Anthony." Daddy didn't react much, just walked away from the grave towards the car, leaving Claudia and Maria alone. They stared at each other one last time before Maria said, "I hope you know that you'll always have a place at our house, Claudia. Johnny wouldn't want it any other way." Mercifully, she left, and Claudia could finally be alone.

Claudia turned back to the headstone, kneeled down, leaned her head against the cool marble, and sobbed, wishing that everything was different, wishing she had figured out what was happening before it happened, and could have maybe stopped Daddy from shooting Johnny in the first place. Maria wanted to be a family, but that was impossible. Johnny had turned their dysfunctional relationships into something a little more normal, but once he was gone, there was no hope for rekindling those ties. So Maria just needed to back the hell off and leave Claudia alone. She didn't know anything about family. If she did, Johnny wouldn't be dead.

_Wherever you are_

_Wherever you are_

_Wherever you are_


End file.
